And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
