Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
