Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
