you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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