Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Two words: nipple clamps
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