I want to stick my p in your. b.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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