and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
