I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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