Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do vagina's smell?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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