Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
