addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize