Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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