I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize