I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
