Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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