and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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