i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
