I want to stick my p in your. b.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize