I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize