oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
