Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
