People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
why is half of my head shaved?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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