dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
whose parrot is this?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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