It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
