over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
