How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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