I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
