how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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