So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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