Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
