That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize