Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
