I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
