Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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