if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
