I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Mom said you looked used
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
