Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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