FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
