I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
