whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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