I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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