Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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