i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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