hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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