Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize