They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
