You can't special order awesome
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
