She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
