I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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