conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize