the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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