it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
