you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
