he puts the penis in happiness.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
