you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
