I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
