She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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