some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize